its my exam time at uni and yet i seem to of not yet started revision. i wake each day with nothing to do other than maybe go to lectures or having to go to the gym with my friend yet i am normally very busy, even if that consists of me doing nothing thinking about what i need to do in life. even as i write this i am making plans to yet hold off revision and waste my life instead of getting a degree and trying to make a difference. on the other hand i was watching a programme today about facebook and both bill gates and the guy who set up facebook dropped out of college so maybe there is hope.
anyway this has lead me to be in my room writing my thoughts to no one over the internet while flicking through stumble upon wondering why i cant come up with any profound quotes for life. i have herd two quotes, saying or prayers, whatever you wish to call them, which i do try t live my life by, which is somewhat unsuccessful at times. firstly is “Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.” I herd this when watching the film ‘its kind of a funny story’ and instantly wanted to get it tattooed on me (which must be a good sign). However i still have not, mostly because of what y mum will do to me if i got tattoo. to me it means be nice and dont worry, karma will look after you if you are a good person, which i really try to be in life even if it is hard at times and sometimes i know i am being a bit horrible.
the other quote i love was from another film: ‘Kingdom of heaven’ where inscribed onto the beam of the knights blacksmith is “what kid of man is a man that does not try to make the world a better place”. this is another saying that i love and hope to remember and wish to for-fill when im older. in the past i have been to Morocco and helped renovate a school and i have volunteered at a school for kids with emotional behavioural disorders but i enjoyed them so there is no sacrifice there. I do an economics degree and that tell us that nothing is done for anything other than self improvement. for example even charity work is a selfish act as the people doing it get the good feeling of helping others and wouldn’t do it unless the get that feeling. that feeling increases their utility to the point that is worth the hours worked or money given.
i dont care about this though. i want that feeling that comes from being nice. i want people to remember me for helping people. i want to be a aid worker. i want to be a philosopher. does this make me selfish?